46 Things (cross-posting is EASY)

Wrote this yesterday on LJ, but I still feel this way...

I'm melancholy because I'm listening to Modest Mouse.

I want to draw, but I'm really tired. If I went to bed I'd be less tired, but new days and waking up in them usher in a slew of (nonproductive) habits and routines. The past few days have been horrid for productivity, with me not even attempting to draw until I'd been up for 10 or 12 hours. Boo, me.

Since the presidential election's inspiring conclusion with President-Elect Obama's acceptance speech I've spent a lot of time and energy thinking about what I want to do for my country. Right now the thing I want to contribute to most is the rather meta-cause of volunteerism: encouraging other people to get involved. Other things strike my fancy, like art education, election reform, and alternative energy, but keeping the momentum of community involvement and enthusiasm for government participation is at the top of my list.

This might be bandwagon-ing, considering that I wasn't involved in the campaign, but I'm not partial to partisan activities. (Generally, I'm a left-voting independent, and my husband is a right-voting independent.)

As I consider my current situation to be an impermeable barrier to community involvement (and that point isn't really up for discussion), I'm of the mindset that I won't be doing any digging-in for another 6-9 months. That frustration gave rise to "what can I do between now and then? how can I prepare myself for what I want to do?" And so the hours-long research and pondering session began. Naturally, it strayed from volunteerism and activism (and learning about them) to searching for advice on independent study in general, then finally to ask metafilter discussions about what to do with excessive interests (with a dash of coping-with-information-overload).

Some good new advice (and reiteration of old wisdom) came from that, and I finally spent some effort writing down a list of my goals and interests. Or a partial list; I keep adding to it, even as I write this entry. I've gone from 33 to 42, and, as you can see, it didn't stop there. The list is a real mish-mash right now, ranging from goals with definite endpoints to ones that are such general pursuits they hardly even have start points, to others that have high replay value (like publishing).

While getting them out doesn't help me focus any better, or assuage my fear that I'll never get to enough things on the list, having a copy of my goals and dreams outside my head lets me examine them in a more objective way. Now, you see, I can sort them into 'career' goals, skill goals, knowledge goals, experience goals, lifestyle goals, and still have a couple left over to throw into "misc". A month or so ago I had a "system" of examining what I was doing at the moment and asking myself "does this fit the path I want to walk? Does it hinder or encourage my progress?" It somewhat fell by the wayside before the roots could really sink in, but having a more definite view of what I want piques my desire to work on self-discipline again.

I recognize that there are pitfalls in doing things this way. One of them is finding myself spending too much time on things that encourage progress but only small amounts of it. Another problem could be pushing this goal-pursuit to mania and losing my grasp on the value of doing slow and simple things.

I am an infinite sculpture.
I am only an egg.




A drawing egg.