Second guesses

Initially, I pulled back from the artistic endeavor I was about to approach. Getting ready to test how some ink would react to watercolors, I changed my mind and came to write instead.

I either pulled back because I suddenly wanted dedicated watercolor "dishes" (so I wouldn't be putting paint-water in anything that didn't belong to me), or because I didn't want to draw the horse. Horses are hard.

But the horse argument is a cop-out, and I could use the abandoned mug in the bathroom without fear.

Instead of pulling paints and paper back out, though, I'm here, writing.

I have mixed feelings about blogging right now, especially as extensively as I've done in the past. The motivations and rewards are entirely internal, as usual, but neither side is huge right now. Contributing factors include a) backlog, b) talking (out loud) about my day more, and c) writing things I want to say here in letters to Reagan.

In truth, right now it's one long letter on three sheets with four greetings, two closures, and a lot of drawings thrown in. True to form, I put lots of arrows and notes all over it and wrote in chunks that don't have to be read in a linear fashion, some of them sideways.

There are some things I only talk to Reagan about, and writing down things I usually say out loud seems to take words away from the things I would normally write about. Or something.

Talking about it makes me miss him.