Mark making

I took the weekend off to feel lousy and watch shows, but that's over now. I did do some drawing, but it was mark making, not anything inspiring. Most of two days worth of drawing fits on two pages. Two pages filled with parallel lines. And another half page filled with thirty five head profiles. That's somewhat interesting, but I have some odd aversion to scanning anything myself.

Tomorrow is Reagan's first real day of work as a Marine photographer.
Tomorrow is my first day as.... ??

Exactly my point.

Markers, both false and real, tell me that playtime is over, and tomorrow is a new beginning to be taken seriously. But I have no gameplan. I'm not exactly worried that I'll fall apart and spend all day procrastinating, not exactly.

I've told myself that I'm a writer who will take myself seriously... but I've also told myself that I'm an artist who will take myself seriously, and a housewife who will take myself seriously.

Excuse me. "Domestic goddess."

By the way, I'm also a self-taught student who will take myself seriously, and a creator and designer and builder and photographer... and... and...

What is the new routine that will bring success? What are my ways and paradigms that will prove all--or any--of the above things to be true?

Yes, this is a freak-out familiar to my blog (and my life), but it feels more real time. Not just because it's directly ahead of me, but because the shift to ___________ is a real one this time. Or rather Reagan's shift is a real one, and I move with it and around it to keep all cylinders firing.

I believe my marriage is an outlier that doesn't follow the normal rules, but doesn't everyone?


If nothing else I'm taking my 3am Epiphany book upstairs with me to prove I'm thinking about writing and intend to work on it tomorrow. Then I'll play DS until I fall asleep.