Colorblind

Life hasn't been normal since before my last post. Hm.

Life hasn't been normal for a touch over two weeks, but these two weeks have felt longer. First came the Long Night with Reagan being away (preceeded by a weekend of Togetherness), then the snow came, driving us out of the basement to the close-quarters, third-floor warmth of our bedroom.

And I haven't left yet.

I've left physically, to do dishes, to romp in the snow (that washed away today :( ), to go to the Base with Reagan, and for one long, freezing day when our windows were replaced. Daily operations, however, still take place from, well, bed.

Until today I bore the confinement with relative grace, and even today I wasn't too cranky about it. But it took me until to day to realize that The Long Day (which I'm calling this past week) is the other side of the coin I minted during The Long Night.

When all my time is spent in one place, there's no clear division to the days and hours. Even when I'm not keeping on the same schedule as my husband, the weekdays are clearly divided into Reagan At Work, Reagan At Home, and Reagan Asleep, which gives me structure, and things to do. (For some reason he assumes the duties of cooking any time he's home... and I don't really argue.)

This past week I've let my days devolve into little bits of many things. A little writing here, a little writing-theory there, a handful of doodling when I feel the need, and a lot (lot) of aimless wandering around the internet. But wandering to useful things (I tell myself). The result is not being able to tell when I'm "working" and when I'm "playing", which brings me to a moment like this when I need to force myself into something, but I can't tell if I need to relax or close down some distractions and get something done. Often I want to kick back, but can't justify it since i haven't accomplished anything substantial.

Now that I have made this discovery, I feel the rest of the day and the rest of the weekend will go more smoothly.