2010

I'm feeling very good about the new year. Not in any excitable way, but chill and confident. Well. Chill, at the very least.

The Moment was spent curled up on the bed with Reagan, a plate of special cheeses between us and glasses of Strongbow in hand. We were watching a live feed of Time Square. When the countdown was in the 40 second range I commented on how anticlimactic the new year was going to be for us. I didn't mind much, some of late 2009 was spent discovering that I'm a person comfortable with anticlimax.

We watched the giant screen in New York via my small screen balanced on my knees as the east coast reached single digits. We didn't count along, but let the crowds call out "six, five, four" for us. Then the connection slowed, leaving us with a frozen picture that didn't pick up again until the confetti was falling.

Yes, my New Year was defined by lag. We laughed, kissed, then toasted with our hard cider.

Happy Decades. A cheer for surviving the old one, and a fierce wish for the one to come. Let's all make the most of our new tomorrows.

Colorblind

Life hasn't been normal since before my last post. Hm.

Life hasn't been normal for a touch over two weeks, but these two weeks have felt longer. First came the Long Night with Reagan being away (preceeded by a weekend of Togetherness), then the snow came, driving us out of the basement to the close-quarters, third-floor warmth of our bedroom.

And I haven't left yet.

I've left physically, to do dishes, to romp in the snow (that washed away today :( ), to go to the Base with Reagan, and for one long, freezing day when our windows were replaced. Daily operations, however, still take place from, well, bed.

Until today I bore the confinement with relative grace, and even today I wasn't too cranky about it. But it took me until to day to realize that The Long Day (which I'm calling this past week) is the other side of the coin I minted during The Long Night.

When all my time is spent in one place, there's no clear division to the days and hours. Even when I'm not keeping on the same schedule as my husband, the weekdays are clearly divided into Reagan At Work, Reagan At Home, and Reagan Asleep, which gives me structure, and things to do. (For some reason he assumes the duties of cooking any time he's home... and I don't really argue.)

This past week I've let my days devolve into little bits of many things. A little writing here, a little writing-theory there, a handful of doodling when I feel the need, and a lot (lot) of aimless wandering around the internet. But wandering to useful things (I tell myself). The result is not being able to tell when I'm "working" and when I'm "playing", which brings me to a moment like this when I need to force myself into something, but I can't tell if I need to relax or close down some distractions and get something done. Often I want to kick back, but can't justify it since i haven't accomplished anything substantial.

Now that I have made this discovery, I feel the rest of the day and the rest of the weekend will go more smoothly.

keeping busy

last Thursday


tonight

Behind me you see just one of the six cabinets I put a coat of paint on. I ran out of masking tape before I could get to the seventh. Second coat goes on tomorrow.

That's not right!

The last thing on my todo list today was scanning art.

About 40 minutes ago I discovered the scanner wouldn't talk to my computer unless my computer had drivers/software installed. I didn't want to take the time to find the CD and install the software, so I decided to make use of my tablet and approximate for you a sketch from my new sketchbook.

I put on Pandora and had fun with.

Don't think it was faster, though.

Frustrathon

I am peeved that Firefox did not restore my session. I had some good recipes open! (I think)

Before Firefox did not restore my session, I was frustrated because...
1) I'm 20 minutes from Extended Bedtime and 40 minutes passed Normal Bedtime
2) I only finished 4.5 of the 6 things on my ToDo list for today
3) The next two prompts in 3am Epiphany aren't things I can reasonably attempt in 20 minutes (even if it is near the titled 3am)

Soon I will be annoyed because I'm not communicating clearly, or my bread starter is separating, or I'm too excited to fall asleep, or I realize how much miss blogging, or... or... or...

But all those things are minor. I play them up to the audience, saying how angry or frustrated I am with a great big smile and a laugh just under the surface. When I have an emotion other than "good", "fine", "happy", or "utterly depressed" I parade it around like a prize I've won, and marvel at what chaotic turmoil it's causing in my brain. Maybe because those "troubles" are problems I get to solve.

Short, explicit summary: Things are going (very) well.

Some time in the past couple weeks I turned a corner and had a series of... more determinations that epiphanies.

The first behavioral breakthrough was beginning to ask myself "what's the little thing I can do right now to improve the situation?"
Second was planning out cooking way in advance.
Third is very recent: limited ToDo lists. Crossing things off is fun, and by only putting a handful of things on the list, I can accomplish a high percentage and still have time in my day to do other things.

Three (relatively) big things I have going on:
- Signing up to help a local Community Theater for their next production. I volunteered for sets and sound-tech, and expect to start next week, maybe the one after.
- Helping write a historic superhero comic for a friend of Reagan's who lives in the area. I'm still in the early stages. I did a draft of the pilot issue's script and am doing background research.
- Starting a chapbook exchange group! This is possibly the biggest risk, as it's the only project of the three I'm completely in charge of. I set up a facebook group for people to join a small group, put together some recent writing, mail it to the other group members, get (and give) feedback, then start the process all over. I guess it's "workshop: lite". The response I've gotten is thrilling!

(See?! it's already past my late bedtime! and I'm worked up!)

Major event of the past worth mentioning:

Lots. Of. Cooking.
Except for last week (due to a prolonged headache), I cook something new about four times a week. Usually with a recipe.

Today I also cooked cranberry... sauce? relish? chutney? (it did have a dash of curry powder!) and mixed up some pie dough for hand pies with cranberry as the filling. Very tasty with a little cream cheese.

At this very moment I have a yeast bread sponge at my elbow. Tomorrow I'll bake my fourth loaf in the past month, and my second this week. Acquisition of bread flour and a cooking scale really amp up my baking. I'll probably go off the charts when Reagan buys me a stand mixer.

But with all this cooking and baking, I need to redouble my efforts to exercise.


Event of the near future worth mentioning: Next Monday Reagan leave will spend the work week tramping around in the snow, shooting guns and jumping out of helicopters. :(

Actually, I'm just going to pretend he's asleep and the week is an unending night that I can spend being hyper productive. Cabinets? Painted! Boxes? Unpacked! Kitchen island? Assembled! And other such things.


Sigh, blog, you are a bad influence on me. It's 20 past four and my teeth aren't going to brush themselves. I must hasten away, lest Reagan wake up and leave for work before I get a chance to steal his warmth.